“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumph (as trophies of Christ’s victory) and through us spreads and makes evident the fragrance and the knowledge of God everywhere, for we are the sweet fragrance of Christ…” II Cor. 2:14-15a
I learned long ago in Sunday school that God gets his greatest glory in using something lowly to defeat something high. He uses someone common like Abraham to establish a great nation, He uses a single poor teenager to carry His son into the world, and He uses common fishermen to take His Gospel to the ends of the earth.
What often seems like a great defeat for God is actually His triumph. Can I explain? For the past two years I would say I have been in a trial, suffering silently as we try to conceive another child. The more recent addition of anxiety and depression magnify the suffering. But oh how sweet the time has been! Hard to understand? Believe me, I know! Maybe these two writings will shed some light better than my own words can.
“If there is a great trial in your life today, do not own it as a defeat, but continue by faith, to claim the victory through Him who is able to make you more than a conqueror, and a glorious victory will soon be apparent. Let us learn that in all the hard places God brings us into, He is making opportunities for us to exercise such faith in Him as will bring about blessed results and greatly glorify His name” - Life of Praise
“Defeat may serve as well as victory
To shake the soul and let the glory out.
When the great oak is strained in the wind,
The boughs drink in new beauty, and the trunk
Sends down a deeper root on the windward side.
Only the soul that knows the mighty grief
Can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come
To stretch out spaces in the heart for joy.”
Will and I started this journey over two years ago thinking it was about fertility, and then getting good doctors, and then solving the puzzling mystery of my new symptoms. But it really is about so much more. It is our chance to address some heart level things in our marriage, in our walks with Christ, in our parenting, and ultimately it is about asking the question of whether we will claim Christ’s victory as our own.
Thank you for reading. Sorry it is less about the medical stuff. No fear, the tests are progressing, meds are being adjusted, and when there is something of significance to share, I will share. But, I hope that you find, as we have, that it is less about my body’s malfunctions and more about God’s glory! Love u. T